Editor鈥檚 note: This story is part of Breaking the Silence, a week-long effort by news organizations across Oregon to change the way we talk about the public health crisis of death by suicide. It contains descriptions of suicide and may not be suitable for all readers. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call for help now. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is a free service answered by trained staff 24 hours per day, every day. The number is 1-800-273-8255. Or text 273TALK to 839863.
Gabe Willitts loved the outdoors. He had friends all around town in Sisters, Oregon, where he grew up. He graduated from Sisters High School in 2015 and left town for college in Colorado.
In May 2018, he took his own life. The family was heartbroken.
鈥淗e was incredible, just an incredible human being,鈥� said Bill Willitts, Gabe鈥檚 grandfather. 鈥淗eartful, beautiful.鈥�
Bill is a Sisters institution. His family built the Five Pines Lodge, a hotel near the edge of town. He鈥檚 been in Sisters for over 20 years, and he and his wife, Zoe, live in an old building that used to belong to the Oregon Department of Forestry.
Soon after Gabe鈥檚 death, Willitts had dinner with friends who helped out with his grandson鈥檚 service. They talked about suicide.
鈥淪o I said, 'What can we do?' Then we began to do research, and we drew people together,鈥� Willitts explained.
Willitts and eight prominent members of the community became Fortitude. The group includes the school district superintendent and an organizer of the Sisters Folk Festival.
The group started meeting, figuring out a way to engage the Sisters community 鈥� 鈥渇rom 3 to 93,鈥� says Willitts 鈥� in efforts to prevent suicide and raise awareness.
Then Galen died.
Galen Boles, 22, was from Sisters and a friend of Gabe鈥檚.
鈥淲e worry about each one of them, we love each one of them,鈥� said Willitts. 鈥淕alen, I think, underlined worst fear.鈥�
Both boys attended Sisters High School, where Fortitude member Heather Johnson is the only health teacher. Over the years, she鈥檚 seen students struggle.
鈥淥ur students are more stressed than they've ever been,鈥� said Johnson. 鈥淭here's just a lot more pressure; there鈥檚 definitely more and more circumstances of anxiety and depression than I鈥檝e ever seen 鈥� and I鈥檝e been in this field for 24 years.鈥�
Johnson sits in her classroom before her first class of the day. Her efforts to make students comfortable are everywhere. A couch lines one side of the room, and a corner is Johnson鈥檚 dedicated 鈥渉ydration station鈥� 鈥� full of tea to help students relax.
As the Sisters community grieved the loss of Gabe and Galen, Johnson says a movement started.
鈥淚t was really amazing to see how our schools and how our community, how our churches, how everyone came together and recognized that this is important,鈥� said Johnson. 鈥淣o more, not on our watch, no more.鈥�
From Reluctance To Response And Resources
鈥淲hen I think about how I was raised and in my generation, I was raised by my parents and grandparents where you didn鈥檛 talk about stuff like that,鈥� said Johnson. 鈥淎nything uncomfortable was always brushed under the rug.鈥�
She says that鈥檚 changing, and conversations around mental health are seen as essential.
鈥淗ow we鈥檝e done it all these years is not healthy at all,鈥� said Johnson.
There鈥檚 a county-wide effort to normalize these kinds of conversations.
Whitney Schumacher is the Suicide Prevention Coordinator for Deschutes County. She makes sure communities in her district know about the training and resources available to them.
Deschutes鈥� suicide rate has increased, according to state data. In 2016, the suicide death rate in the county was 17.80 deaths per 100,000 people. One year later, that number was 29 per 100,000.
Schumacher鈥檚 office is hosting parent nights for students in the county鈥檚 school districts this year. Unlike similar events two years ago, the new events include information about what to do after a suicide or sudden loss in a community.
鈥淲e want to make sure conversation around mental health was normalized 鈥� in the home, in schools, in our community,鈥� said Schumacher. 鈥淲e really try to hone in on the fact that there are resources for anybody in Deschutes County in Central Oregon.鈥�
There has long been a stigma around mental illness. 鈥淚 think that鈥檚 changing with younger generations,鈥� said Schumacher.
But for current Sisters High School students, sometimes seeking help in a small town carries its own stigma.
The 'Pressure To Be Perfect'
Sophomore Skylar Wilkins and her younger sister, freshman Sydney Wilkins, are three-sport athletes at Sisters High. They say an academic schedule and the expectations to do multiple activities adds to the stress.
鈥淵ou鈥檝e got to have this laundry list of stuff you do,鈥� said Skylar. 鈥淚t's difficult to do that 鈥� but then when you have mental health weighing down on you, that鈥檚 a big battle that people don鈥檛 see and people don鈥檛 count for.鈥�
The Wilkins sisters say they feel pressure from constantly comparing themselves to their classmates.
Both Sydney and Skylar talk to their parents about mental health difficulties, and they have friends they can reach out to for support. But Skylar says it can be hard to talk about mental health in a small town.
鈥淣ews travels because everyone knows everything,鈥� said Skylar Wilkins. 鈥淭here鈥檚 a certain facade you have to keep up as a student, as a member of the community. It鈥檚 like, 'We鈥檙e all normal.'鈥�
The sisters didn鈥檛 know the two young men who died last year.
But Sisters is small 鈥� an old babysitter was Galen鈥檚 best friend, says Sydney. The losses made her think about the people she did know.
鈥淲hen something like a suicide happens, you're kind of forced to open your eyes and say this person I care about is struggling,鈥� said Sydney. 鈥淭his is something that could genuinely happen and that鈥檚 terrifying.鈥�
She鈥檚 been there for friends in crisis. Tucked inside her phone case, she carries a card with the crisis hotline number.
鈥淚 like carrying that around because I know I鈥檓 not always going to be able to help this person,鈥� explained Sydney. 鈥淏ut it鈥檚 easier to come to me than to go to someone you don鈥檛 know.鈥�
Finding Sources Of Strength
Fortitude is launching its first initiative this fall, called Sources of Strength. It鈥檚 a suicide prevention program that will train students to be peer leaders and create campaigns for safe messaging around hope and helping students who may be feeling suicidal.
Bill Willitts wants to build mental health resiliency for kids if they decide to leave home.
鈥淵ou're going to go out and this world is going to get really difficult 鈥� we're going to help you build tools so you're ready,鈥� said Willitts.
Fortitude plans to spend the next year working on community outreach, with the goal of figuring out where the community is when it comes to talking about suicide and mental health.
The group worked with the school district superintendent to make sure mental health priorities are equal to academic ones.
It鈥檚 all a part of Willitts鈥� goal: for Sisters students to develop 鈥渢ools鈥� starting as early as kindergarten.
鈥淚 don't want to see another parent, another grandparent, suffer what we're suffering,鈥� Willitts said. 鈥淚 will forever, as long as my life continues, miss Gabe. I loved him deeply. But what can I do about that? I can help others.鈥�
Elizabeth Miller
/After his grandson Gabe died by suicide in 2018, Sisters resident Bill Willitts started working to raise suicide awareness.
Elizabeth Miller
/Sisters High School students Sydney and Skylar Wilkins stand with health teacher Heather Johnson (center). "Our students are more stressed than they鈥檝e ever been,鈥� Johnson says.
Elizabeth Miller
/A Tree of Positivity grows at Sisters High School.
Copyright 2019